Daily Training- 5/19/14

Last week was the first week in a while that I’ve trained 4 days. Damaged an intercostal, followed by a brutal bout with bronchitis, and then had issues dealing with a compressed ulnar nerve in my right arm…Totally forgot to log last week. Doing a 4-6 week “hypertrophy” program right now.

Military Press: 55(3×10)

Bench Press: 80(3×10)

Lateral Shoulder Raises: 7.5(3×10)

2 Handed Banded Tricep Push Down: MDUSA Green(3×10)

Tabata: Airdyne

RC Sit-Ups: 2×10

Daily Training 3/6/14

1 clean + 3 Jerks: 60(5×3) (mixed it up with power cleans and power jerks)

Split Squat: 40(3×10)

Klokov Press: 40(3×10)

Push-Ups: Purple Band(3×10)

Band Rotations: Red Band(3×10)

Some what short workout, but it got my heart rate going (especially the split squats) and my glutes are going to be sore tomorrow.

Daily Training- 1/13/2014

First workout back after missing a week due to a nasty stomach bug. Also had one of the worst fevers of my life. Easing back into it with some lighter weights…

Snatch Balance: 66(5×3)

BTN Split Jerk: 85(5×3)

Front Squat: 117(5×3)

Military Press: 60(5×5)

Bench Press: 81(5×5)

Band Rotation: Purple Band(2×12), Red Bandx12

 

Tomorrow Should be interesting.

How to (actually) train for the Zombie Apocalypse (Part 1)

Zombies are so hot right now. Admit it, you fantasize about living in a world where nothing matters, and you can pop a cap in your neighbors ass without thinking twice about it. I know you’ve been wanting to do it since he got that new leaf blower and decides to use the thing every Saturday morning at 7 a.m. “He’s a zombie, I’m doing him a favor,” you’d tell yourself. Not that it needed any justification any way.

So you’re sitting at your desk at work, day dreaming about slicing off zombie heads with your katana, and fending off your camp from bandits like a bad-ass, but then, there are people who are actually taking it a step further and training for it. Okay so maybe they are just training to be in shape, and it makes them think they are going to make it in the Z world, but let me tell you, these people have it all wrong.

There’s definitely no shortage of Zombie training propaganda. The local CrapFit (that’s what I call the real sucky CFs, because there are some great CF coaches!) in town has a sign out front that says “train here for the Zombie Apocalypse.” There are scenario mud runs like “Run for your Lives,” which have zombies chasing you. People like to test their fitness and grit in events like the Spartan Race, and Tough Mudder, hell, even Glenn Pendlay wrote up a quick training guide to prepare yourself for the inevitable Zombie plague.

And of course who could forget the famous scene from Zombieland, where we learn the first rule of surviving…”cardio.” But I’m telling you, this is all very wrong, and if you don’t heed this warning, you surely will not make it when all hell breaks loose.  In this article I will present to you five different scenarios in which being light, lean, and durable will surely spell the end for you, and why if you want to survive the zombie apocalypse, you better start your dreamer bulk right now…

Category 1: Immediate Survival 

Sh*t has just hit the fan, and you realize that the dead are walking every street corner, and  they aren’t asking for hand-outs, they are just taking (and eating) hands…arms, necks, whatever they can grab. You see a crowd of 3-4 Geeks coming your way, and having no weapons on you, you decide to run, you’re not sure where you’re going to go, but you can figure out the details later, you’re in imminent danger, and a decision needs to be made…

Scenario 1: Sprinting to the closest building

The zombies are coming, and the fight or flight response kicks in, you notice that you’re not the only living person out on the street, there’s two other people…one of them has a huge smile on his face, because he’s been waiting for the day when he can put his Tony Horton trained skills to the test. The other guy looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, either from fear, or from the McDonald’s cheeseburger that’s no doubt clogging his arteries, to the point vegetable oil is coming out of his pores. You? Well yeah, you’re fat by most standards, but you DO train…to be swole.  You’re not going to let an extra 20lbs around your midsection keep you from getting to the safety of that building.

As you sprint towards the building, Mr. Phallic 90 Xtreme completely smokes you, leaving you pretty far behind. You look back and Michael McNugget wasn’t quite fast enough to outrun a mechanical corpse, who’s nervous system doesn’t fire to efficiently because it’s being operated by a small bit of bacteria. The Zombies in chase don’t even notice you now, since they have a nice fatty meal to keep them busy for the next 30-40 minutes.

You finally reach the building that you thought was safe, and when you open the doors, you find Sean T’s greatest protege under a mound of flesh eaters. You see, the Zombie Apocalypse is like sex…you can be TOO quick. There’s no time to waste though, at 5’10 and 160lbs, there wasn’t much for those zombies to eat, so they’ll be looking for another meal in a matter of minutes. In fact, some zombies take notice of your well insulated physique and decide that your layer upon layer of dormant flesh will be much tastier, and they begin to rise to try to take a chunk out of you. You see some swinging doors to the next room over, you peak through and see the room is clear, with a possible escape through a window in back…

Scenario 2: Holding off the Zombies

This is where being fatter really pays off. The doors only swing inward, and you’ve found a nice piece of wood to stick through handles, the window is pretty high and you’ll need to stack some boxes on top of one another to be able to reach it…that’s when you hear the wood start to break! Immediately you rush back to the door, pushing your backside against it. Fortunately all these zombies were on the same Paleo+Zone diet as Mr. Zombie Lunch who was the first to burst his way into a zombie infested building, which means their combined weight is only slightly more than yours alone, and if that weren’t enough, their “strong for their size” bodies don’t compare to your massive semi-sweet frame. Had you spent more time doing burpees, and less time squatting you’d be nothing but a pile of entrails by now.

It’s then you see a young kid come out from hiding behind of one of the boxes. You yell to him to start stacking them up so you can get the hell out of there. On the count of three, you let go of the door, scoop the kid up who’s like a mere rag doll to you, and burst through the window into the back alley.

Scenario 3: Hammer time!

At this point you’ve probably run a combined mile, albeit broken up into bits. Normally you’d be pretty exhausted but adrenalin has kept you going. You and the youngster (about age 10, name: Not-a-Zombie Kid) are quietly moving from alley to alley, avoiding the main streets where most of the zombies are. You know what you need to do, find high ground. Ideally a building with lots of stairs, (which zombies aren’t good at navigating). Then you think of the perfect place…the library! No one actually goes to the library anymore, so it should be pretty vacant, plus there’s a food court and it’s several floors high, it’s got big open rooms, divided by book shelves which can create natural barriers but still give you good visibility. It’s perfect!

You and NZK make it to the library, and climb up the fire escape to the third floor. The door is unlocked, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because you’re such a boss you would’ve just ripped the thing off the hinges. Inside all things are quiet, until you start to hear the faint moan of a lame-brain. A security guard. This guy’s 100% geek, and you gotta waste him, you look around for a weapon, but all there is are books. Oh well, a nice hard cover shall do. You take an encyclopedia Britannica straight to this dude’s dome, and put him down with one blow, but you’re smart, you know you gotta destroy the brain, so you drop some serious knowledge on this fool with a second smack. We see it all the time in movies and especially in TV, skinny guys crushing zombie skulls, but that’s after they’ve already been dead for a good long while, and everything gets real soft. If you think those double-unders and rope climbs were gonna help you crush a freshly undead, and still really hard zombie globe, think again. That’s gonna take man strength, and a good amount of inertia backed by some serious fatceps to get it done. Score another one for the big people.

Part 2 coming soon!

 

Day Trip To Risto Sports

Today Rumbler Team member Billy Almanzar, aka Papichulo and myself headed up to Risto sports to train with Elio Guerra (2009 Pan American Champion in the 85kg class) and hang out. Unfortunately I couldn’t stick around all day due to work, but I did a lot of snatching with the bar again. Last week I felt great. This week not so much. That probably had something to do with not doing 20/20 on the rower/bike prior to snatching today. Oh well. Check out the video of one set of (terrible) snatches, and some sweet snatch pulls by Elio, and then a few minutes of my awesome beard.

The Start of Something New

After much frustration last week dealing with issues regarding domain names and web hosting, I’m finally ready to begin posting my daily workouts and nutrition. So welcome to my very first post! Last week was my first week back to training, after a lay off due to injury and need of a mental break. My plan right now is a simple four day push/pull split, with some cardio and snatching mixed in on “rest days.” Week One was

M: Front Squat- 50%(3×5), Military Press 50%(3×5), Bench Press 50%(3×5)

T: Deadlift- 50%(3×5), Pull-Ups(3×5), Pendlay Rows “50%”(3×5)

W: 20min on the airdyne, 20min on the rower, Snatch- 20kgx20min, 40kg(3×3), 50kg(3×3)

TH:  Back Squat- 50%(5×5), Military Press 50%(5×5), Bench Press 50%(5×5)

F: SLDL- 50%(5×5), Pull-Ups(5×5), Pendlay Rows “50%”(5×5)

As you can see, I’m sticking with sets of 5, early in the week I only do 3 sets, later in the week I bump it up to five.  For the most part I’m doing the same exercises on each push and each pull day, with the exception of squats, and deadlifts. I’m also doing abs each day that I train, and I’m keeping it some what random there.

Each week I plan on upping it 5% on everything, with the exception of week 1-2, I’ve moved from 50% to 60%. I was pretty sore last week after having so much time off, but it only took that one week to get acclimated, and now my training legs are back under me. Going from 85kg(187lbs) last week to 102kg(224lbs) this week didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Deadlifts tomorrow should be interesting, mostly because I’m hook gripping my deadlifts and my thumbs have definitely reverted back to regular thumbs after not hooking for so long.

I’m going to be posting my workouts each day, along with the music I’m listening to while I train that is pumping me up. I’m going to try to remember to take pictures of all my meals and post everything that I put in my body. So please join me, and if I miss a day, feel free to call me out: Tony@Weaponizethemachine.com

Thanks for reading

Both the new Cage and Vinnie Paz EPs were getting me through my workouts last week

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6hIo8OSYWI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqMD2oRsd4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKCyuUcuq-o

Lastly my dinner from this evening (which was super delicious). Ham, Yam, and Cheese, Egg Scramble!

2013-11-18 20.43.10

 

Ingredients:

4 eggs

1/2 of a ham steak

1 yam

1 tsp pure maple syrup

Block of raw milk cheddar cheese

Coconut oil

Bacon fat

salt

pepper

Directions:

Skin yam and chop into small wedges. Place into hot skillet with bacon grease and sprinkle with salt and pepper

Scramble eggs thoroughly and let settle

Hand shred cheese down into a 1/2 cup and add to egg mix, then rewhip the eggs

Once yams start to brown on the edges, chop ham and add it to separate pan with coconut oil (approx 1 tablespoon)

Add maple syrup to egg mixture and rewhip

Once all pieces of ham are browned, turn heat down slightly and add the eggs to the pan

Keep turning and folding the eggs in the pan until they are mostly dry

Put eggs on plate, dump yam over top of them.

Put a helmet on, to contain your brain for when your mind is blown after the first bite.